From one of my old blogs. Okay, from my only old blog on Yahoo 360. It’s part of an absurd fantasy story I’m playing around with. Here’s a bit of background: Darryn is an amensiac who has been set on a cheesy quest, Cow is a talking green cow that found Darryn, Jargonbane is a heroic type who talks funny. They’ve just had a bit of a chinwag at a tea shop and have headed into some dark tunnels under the mountains.
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“Holy cow,” said Darryn. “No offense, Cow. I’m not saying you’re holy or anything.”
“Oh, now I’m a demon cow?”
“That’s not what I said, meant or intended!”
“Liar.”
Darryn rolled his green eyes. It was only at that moment that he remembered that his eyes were green. “Hey, my eyes are green,” he shouted in joy and some dirt and rocks fell upon him. Jargonbane was suddenly at his side, an apparition appearing from the darkness ahead, wroth and fey. His white armor was barely touched by the dust and grime. He put his white gloved hands round Darryn’s effiminate neck and squeezed ever so lightly.
“Silence from your mouth is all need we,” he said, in a fairly menacing way.
“Okay. Are you really trying to choke me?”
“If trying to choke you were I, choked be you would.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say. Very macho. Listen, another question. How can silence come out of my mouth? I mean, isn’t that, well, not possible? Doesn’t sound right. Silence wouldn’t come out of anything. It simply exi-”
At that point, Jargonbane squeezed more. Darryn eventually passed right out. Jargonbane tossed His Limpness onto Cow’s back. At which Cow took umbrage. “What the Narg, Jarg?”
“Your furry trap shut you will. The tunnel entrance weak is; large sounds collapse it will. Your familiar Darryn is, your burden remains he. Talking no more will I allow.”
Jargonbane wandered up front again.
Cow pouted. “I don’t have a furry trap, jerk.”